It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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