He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
