dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My hand turned me down
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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