Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize