i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
