guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
