My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize