On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
