I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
