I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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