butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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