We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
