Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize