Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
