started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
