Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
