babies were throwing up all over the place
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize