I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize