do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
