You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
