I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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