I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
