You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize