just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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