week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
