Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
