Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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