We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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