I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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