Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
