some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
