Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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