She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
