Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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