How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
