Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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