wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I am mentally ready for anal.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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