your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im part way to drunk.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
