glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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