First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
