I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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