at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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