I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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