nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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