My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize