Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
