You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she peed on how many people?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
