I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
