Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
