what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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