all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
how does that bad decision feel?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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