I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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