YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
