party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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