Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
