i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
did you just send me my own nude
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
