Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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