In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
