I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
