I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
how does that bad decision feel?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
