My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
