i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She needs sedatives and a leash
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
