Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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