woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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