I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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