Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
