I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
