I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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