No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
