Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
