this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
