and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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